Say When

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

- Paul Coelho



I am sure this has happened to all of us once in our lives. I have this best friend, let's call her Mildred, we went to high school together. We are part of a larger group of about 6 best friends. Another member of the group, someone I have known/loved/confided in since I was newly 14, we shall call her Maggie. Now Mildred has been dating this fellow, for our purposes, Rex, for about a year and a half. He broke up with her about a month or two ago because he needed time to figure out how/what he feels. This might seem like the end of the world for ole Mil but MIldred pulled something similar about a year ago and she and Rex broke up for a short period of time only to be blissfully reunited. Rex assured Mildred that this was a similar situation.

This all seemed quite plausible until Rex slept with Maggie.

Now, I could tell you how agonizing this has been. How Mildred lost weight, sleep, and many tears in the past few weeks. Or I could be completely selfish and outline how this little reality show type drama has had a severly negative effect on my life, forcing me to completely isolate the person I had trusted with every secret since 8th grade (Maggie). But, that is not where the story leads us.

Rex and Maggie have still been talking/hanging out and Rex and Mil have not. Mil and Rex have decided to meet up on their anniversary in December at an undisclosed location to see if they both still care. (Everyone in unison now--- VOM) However, according to Maggie, whom I am not supposed to be communicating with but you'll never tell dear old readers, Rex says similar things to Maggie. (So typical)

Last night, Mildred and I were dropping one of our companions at a party where Rex would be present. We were outside of the house for approximately 3 minutes when Rex, after having consumed roughly 15 shots, sauntered outside. He unknowingly stopped walking directly in front of my car. I resisted the urge to run him over only because Mildred held her hand firmly over the gear shift, not allowing me to move the car from park. Rex came over to make obviously drunken small talk, oblivious to my sarcasm and general bitchiness. Finally, he looks at Mildred and asks if she misses him. I scream "NO." Rex then leans in and grabs Mil's face and ACTUALLY TRIES TO KISS HER. As I am about to shift the car in gear, regardless of where his feet are present, one of his friends runs outside and drags him onto the grass away from the car. As we drive away we hear him screaming "YOU MISS ME. I KNOW YOU MISS ME TOO."

Now, I wish I could explain to you how many nights I have cradled Mil's lifeless, sobbing form until she could be coaxed to sleep. I wish I could explain how many times she told him "I'll never talk to you again if I find out you're talking/hanging out with Maggie..." or "I'll never talk to you again if you keep talking to Maggie..."

This altercation, and obvious jubilation from the passenger seat as we continued to drive, led to a short argument between Mil and I. I was fuming. He slept with our best friend. And continues to see/talk to her. How many second chances was he going to get? How many times is he allowed to disregard her feelings before she follows through on a threat. When will she finally just 'say when?'

If you had a childhood like mine, you had a corny uncle (in my case, Dad) or maybe you just grew up being friends with my fellow blogger C, who, when pouring you a glass of milk for your Oreos, would tell you to "say when." I never quite understood why you would say "when" at the moment you have had enough but that is what you did.

When will Mildred say "when?" The answer is that, of course, she won't. We never do. We let Uncle Artie keep on pouring until the milk has overflowed and we are sitting, drenched in a gallon of it. It is easy for me to yell at Mildred, become frustrated, even begin to resent the pain she continues to put herself through. But if I were in a similar situation, would I be able to say when? I sincerely doubt it.

Jane